Even with a year separating me from the hospital home that was forced upon me, I was still carrying forty more unwelcome pounds on my frame than I had before I went in. I still grappled with the side-effects of my medication, the anxiety that never went away after taking it, and was quite familiar with the harsh grounding that comes from an antidepressant - antipsychotic cocktail. But the discomfort was enough to get me to pick up the copy of ‘Mindfulness in Plain English’ I had bought years earlier, and I decided to finally put it to use.
I started meditating. It was difficult, but rewarding, like most things worth doing. It provided me with some respite. A couch surrounded by the lava of physical, social, and job-based stressors we all face.
And things continued that way. Meditation was a timeout, and it sometimes saved me from myself. But my “self” was still waiting for me at the corner when my eyes opened again.
By the time the summer of 2019 hit, five years after I began a regular practice, life told me that temporary relief was no longer enough. With excessive overtime, excessive sleep deprivation, and excessive pain in my personal life, I learned that therapy, medication, and sitting with my eyes closed was no longer cutting it.
After flirting with Buddhism nearly 20 years earlier in middle school, the “in case of emergency, break glass” recommendation I always associated with the religion was finally taken to heart. With shards on the ground, I read ‘The Dhammapada’ and saw truths that my personal experience confirmed.
That book became other books. Those other books became practices. And from practicing, I gained a new stability that I hadn’t had access to before the roof of my life caved in on me.
How To Think About Buddhism For Best Results
I’m not trying to convince anyone to ‘become a Buddhist’. People have some justifiable reasons to be skeptical of religion. And if you’re looking for “Buddhism isn’t perfect” arguments, you can point to the genocide in Myanmar as an example of how even this faith can lead some practitioners to hurting others.
Rather than a dogmatic religion, I believe it’s more helpful (and more accurate), to look at Buddhism as a toolkit, and a map, which have the power to keep you and others from suffering needlessly, while leading you to actions that can produce the opposite.
The Dhamma (or, the teachings of Buddhism) can also be understood with the parable of the raft. Using the teachings to get to the other side of struggle is great, but carrying the thing on your back and being adamant about identifying as a “rafter” is probably a little less helpful. What I recommend: use the wisdom that comes from sitting in the raft, but don’t let your identity get caught up in the label of “Buddhism.” Letting go of the need to carry that label is perhaps one of the most Buddhist things you can do.
The Principles That Make My Life Less Painful (Which Might Do The Same For You)
In trying to live a life as struggle-free as possible, I attempted to distill what I knew of Buddhism into brief rules of thumb, to quickly guide my thinking. Those rules of thumb fall into two categories: Inner, and Outer.
My inner practice is the Web of Practice, which I’ll be getting into below.
My outer practice (how I want to interact with the world) can be summed up as:
- 1) Generosity
- 2) Virtue (no lying, killing, stealing, or damaging speech with myself or others)
- 3) Universal Goodwill (Being compassionate, and solutions-based in my interactions with others)
It’s not uncommon for me to fall short of these goals, but I do try my best to live by them. The reason why I make an attempt to follow them is not out of fear for some eternal inferno in a realm parallel to this present reality, but because they're guardrails. They help simplify my life, while leading me to actions that make life less terrible for myself, and those around me.
Why do they lead to less suffering? Besides keeping me from doing things I’ll regret, they help me see reality for what it is. Seeing things for how they are right now keeps me from being forced to look at the aftermath of my decisions spread out behind "do not cross" tape at a later date. And accepting what is in the present gives me greater power in deciding how to approach a problem, right here and now.
While Generosity, Virtue, and Universal Goodwill are all helpful to keep in mind to keep me from swerving off of a 'Mulholland Drive'-like road, I find the Web of Practice to be the practical self-defense system that meditating with my eyes closed for years was never able to provide when I would uncross my legs. Let’s go through it.
The Web of Practice
The Web of Practice consists of five practices that keep me afloat when my day gets challenging, while helping me see things for what they are. It consists of: 1) Not Sure, 2) Wheel Turn, 3) Doesn’t Belong, 4) Who Is?, and 5) Pause. I’ll discuss each, and hopefully provide some easy ways to put them into action in your life, so you can see benefits as soon as possible. Let’s start with the most important practice of them all:
1) Not Sure
If I could use only one thing to keep myself from being eye to eye with fish, it'd be "Not Sure." “Not Sure” is the most helpful practice I’ve found in keeping me present, rather than drifting to this or that anxious, or depressive thought. Here are some passages from the Thai Buddhist teacher, Ajahn Chah, that first got me using the practice, and seeing its importance firsthand:
Ajahn Amaro, a disciple of Ajahn Chah, says that his teacher believed the whole of Buddhist practice could be summed up as “anicca (impermanence)” and “patient endurance,” the latter of which I touch on more in the “Pause” section of this piece. The more I practice, the more I find that statement to be true. It really is that simple.
Have you heard of the book ‘Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind’, by Shunryu Suzuki? Well, it’s my belief that a consistent “not sure” practice is the easiest way to obtain a “beginner’s mind.” While it’s difficult, if you do apply it throughout the course of a day, chopping down each thought that comes to overtake your stillness, you’ll find what’s left is a non-judgmental, flexible mind, that easily adapts to its actual needs in the present moment. And I can confidently say that tending to each thought that arises is usually not what you actually need. As Ajahn Sumedho has said, most of your thoughts are “garbage.”
That may sound harsh, but if I'm being honest, most of what passes through my mind disguised as important and urgent insights doesn't have a lot of lasting value. Not Sure brings me back to the present, where what matters is the action I take in the moment.
How To Understand “Not Sure” On A Deeper Level
Anicca is the recognition that everything is impermanent, “not sure,” uncertain. Even as someone that has spent incalculable hours consulting the I Ching, I can tell you with *certainty* that even the most experienced diviner’s interpretations and predictions are “not sure.”
In general, what actually is uncertain about something? The outcome, mine, and others’ feelings, thoughts, and perceptions, and how what’s present now may evolve, or change.
How can you test that last statement for yourself? Let’s run through our senses:
A) Sound
What sound is currently present for you? Is it a song? A dripping faucet creating some aquatic morse code in the sink? Or maybe a rumbling heater, or air conditioner? Well, sit there and listen, and wait for it to change. The song may fade into silence. The faucet may give you a pump-fake and withhold a drop when you least expect it. The heater may decide the temperature in your home is warm enough, and the air conditioner may decide the opposite.
All of those sounds have their own life. A life that arises and ceases, just like ours. When exactly those lives end is the unsure thing.
B) Sight
Looking at something intensely can help you spot new details you never caught before. Or you might get old and see your vision deteriorate, as clarity becomes blurred confusion. Or maybe you have some form of color blindness and may not know the colors others speak of in the same way.
There’s sight differences between humans, and animals. There's night vision goggles, and blacklights.
Uncertainty is baked into our sense of sight in this world, whether you're a cat, human, or a Biblical angel with as many eyes as we have Pokémon.
C) Touch
A window in the winter feels different than a window absorbing the heat of summer sun. Moisturized skin feels different from a hand that’s getting the worst of a dry winter. A pot that’s been off of a burner for 10 minutes feels different than one resting on red, steel coils.
And this year’s window, palm, or pot, can feel different from the same one a year from now. Our touch is as uncertain as anything else.
D) Taste
A food you don't like might end up becoming something you have to eat every day. Something you thought was going to taste good based on your past experience doesn’t quite hit the spot anymore. Something you thought was going to be sweet is actually bitter, and something you thought was sour turns out to be salty.
Whether it’s from decay, a change of ingredients, or a change in us, today’s taste may not be tomorrow's, even if that's hard to believe in the present.
E) Feeling
That ache you feel may go from stabbing pain, to throbbing, to nonexistent. An unhappy feeling can mutate into a happy one. And a happy one can go in the opposite direction.
When you're stuck in the middle of a feeling, it may be hard to believe you'll ever experience another. But it happens. And I'm sure you all can look into your past to find evidence of that.
Why “Not Sure” Helps
It may not feel comforting to hear that even happiness fades, but as my own therapist noted to me once, feeling those emotions is a reminder that you’re alive, experiencing the full spectrum of what being a human is all about.
Knowing that things are going according to plan (even if it's not my plan) helps me accept the natural process of impermanence.
When you can look at something you treasure and see how it's already broken, it can sober you up, while also making things a lot more simple. You see things for what they are, and have been. In seeing things for what they are, it becomes easier to recognize what’s important in this moment. It can make you more thoughtful, and patient. It can make you have more compassion for others, because you see that they’re facing the same reality in their own ways.
And you can have more compassion for yourself, because you can see how your present, and past mistakes, can fade into memories that are as not sure as everything else. When we come away from those situations with lessons like that, we make it more likely that we’ll face whatever is heading our way with greater equanimity than we may have had access to in the past.
How To Put “Not Sure” Into Practice
The simplest way is to follow Ajahn Chah’s advice from the excerpt above: whatever good, or bad, pleasant, or unpleasant thought pops in your head, chop it down with the label of “not sure,” and let it fade into the background. After seeing the not sure-ness of your senses, hopefully you have more faith in the promise of uncertainty that reality gives us. Once we have that faith, the tool of labeling these things as not sure becomes much more effective, because we don't sit there asking ourselves "but is it *really* not sure?"
"Not Sure" is essentially my mantra. Simply repeating it in my head can clear my mind, and snap me out of whatever loop was repeating itself to my detriment.
Whether it's an occasional acknowledgement, or something as constant as a transcendental meditation mantra without the cult cost, bringing it to mind really can chop your troubles down.
But if you’re not quite sold yet, here are some other things you can do:
A) Look For The Change In Your Past
Look back 12 months from now. 24 months from now. Five years from now. Did you have it all planned out? If you did, how many of those plans betrayed you with their inherent uncertainty?
B) Look Back Five Minutes
Where were you five minutes ago? Mentally, physically, emotionally? And where are you now? You can even ask yourself for a prediction of what will happen in the next five minutes, set an alarm, and once it goes off, look back. How much went according to plan? How much was unexpected? What didn’t you predict? What couldn’t you predict?
--
The more you look for uncertainty, the more you’ll find it. Because it was always there. But the more you practice labeling it when you see it, the more power you have. The more clearly you’ll see. The more comfortable you’ll get with the way things are, and the way things inevitably change. And with that, the more comfortable you'll be with reality.
2) Wheel Turn
To understand what I mean by “wheel turn,” let’s look at the Dhamma talk that inspired the phrase for me:
When we grab the feel-good part of the wheel, we’re stuck holding it when it hits the other side of the spectrum. It’s a simple thought, but one that is easy to overlook.
Just as it’s beneficial to see how things are already broken from the very beginning, it’s helpful to see how our actions may break things for us before we really do anything. This is common sense, of course. We’ve been told to think before we speak, and to not “jump the gun,” but think about how often we’re on auto-pilot in a kamikaze plane.
So, the “Wheel Turn” is about seeing the other side before we reach out instinctively to grab what feels good.
There’s a couple ideas in Buddhist teachings that I believe are relevant to the idea of a “Wheel Turn,” which are Hiri and Ottappa.
I find it best to think of Hiri as your conscience. While so many feel shame for things that aren’t shameful, which leads to negative feelings, and a loop of negative self-talk, Hiri is a healthy sense of shame. Knowing what’s not right for you, personally.
Ottappa is best thought of as fear of the consequences of taking wrong actions. You can see how Hiri and Ottappa go well together, and hopefully you can see how they can pair with the idea of a Wheel Turn.
A conscience, and a healthy fear of the consequences of doing something wrong, make up a large part of the Wheel Turn, but I believe the idea helps us see the consequences of actions that many would have no qualms about.
If you’re craving a shiny package of sugary carbs (as is the case for me), a cocktail, or a nihilistic but aesthetically pleasing social media feed, it’s helpful to think about where that wheel will turn once the feel good emotions dissipate. And they always dissipate.
This may be a difficult part of the Web of Practice to actually put into practice. And if you’re dealing with a heavy sense of shame, it may be best to work through those feelings with a personal therapist that you trust. I know that it definitely helped me when I was just beginning to resolve my inner conflicts, and childhood trauma.
Another issue that could possibly come up is over-thinking. While it’s good to consider the consequences of your actions, it’s important to remember that you still have to act. I wouldn’t recommend using a Wheel Turn practice for every single action you take. For a rule of thumb: reserve it for things that have lasting consequences, or involve other people.
If you’re aware of the consequences of an action in those situations, it’s best to recognize the not sure-ness that’s still present, and let yourself live. And remember that those potential consequences are just as not sure as everything else.
How To Put A “Wheel Turn” Into Practice
This part of The Web of Practice has some things in common with the “Pause” tool. By giving yourself a second before acting, you can create a buffer allowing you to swoop in and rescue that automatic part of yourself.
Use it when:
- An action can have lasting consequences (Ask yourself will this decision still matter an hour from now?)
- An action can affect other individuals in a lasting way
How to use it:
- Ask what do I hope this action accomplishes?
- Ask how might this action cause me, or others, suffering?
--
It may seem childish, but the real benefit of a Wheel Turn is putting a pause in the automatic flow of your self that only wants satisfaction, without considering it may get the opposite along with it, as a package deal. An ounce of hesitation can sometimes save us from getting a gallon in a metaphorical, worldly waterboarding session.
3) Doesn’t Belong
The above passage is what inspired this part of the Web of Practice. “Doesn’t Belong” is an important reminder, and it can be used for more than anger.
We’re all bombarded with existential weather throughout the course of our days. Whether it’s our emotions, others’ emotions, cravings and criticisms, likes and dislikes, or unexpected twists and turns of events, they pass through us like clouds in the sky. And they don’t belong to you. Just like snowflakes and raindrops don’t belong to you. They’re all not sure, and they were all meant to arise, and then cease.
Just like it would be silly to demand that the sky stops pouring rain, it’s silly, though understandable, when we demand a thought or emotion goes away, or that someone else's thoughts and emotions dissipate. They all have their own lifespans, and sometimes the best thing we can do is let it pass, or wait it out.
How To Put “Doesn’t Belong” Into Practice
It’s simple. Whenever you face existential weather that you didn’t consciously create, remind yourself “it doesn’t belong to me.”
If you have a craving for food, drink, a substance, or a diversion, remind yourself that it doesn’t belong to you, and let it pass.
When someone is rude to you, remind yourself that the words, or the person themselves doesn’t belong to you. That the storm will pass, as it always does.
--
I suppose one way you can look at “Doesn’t Belong” is a reminder of what is, and isn’t, your business. Let that emotion of yours live its life and runaway from home. Remember that while you can give it your attention in a moment, you don’t have to make a lasting place for it. It has somewhere else to be, anyway. And that’s between it and "there."
4) Who Is?
Anatta may be the hardest Buddhist teaching for anyone to accept. "How is there no self, when I'm right here, in this body?"
I'm not going to give you an extended lesson on the concept of emptiness, I'll just repeat what Ajahn Jayassaro said in the video above: you have no permanent self. That's the most important thing to understand when it comes to anatta.
What does" no permanent self" mean? It means what you already know: you're constantly changing, constantly aging, constantly evolving.
Another aspect of anatta that we have to talk about are the five aggregates. These are the five impermanent parts of us that make up ... us.
There's form, which you can think of as your body. Feeling tone, or what we feel as we live, which comes in three flavors: pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. Our memory, or perception. Our consciousness, which you can think of as the screen our life is projected on for us. And volitional formations/choices and unchosen choices, which are our willed actions, either mentally, or physically.
If you look at that list, I think you'd admit that they're all not sure. They're all impermanent, all in flux.
This is where "who is" comes into the picture. If you're angry, who is angry? Is it your body, your ability to feel good, bad, or neutral, your memory, your consciousness, your will?
How “Who Is” Helps
Sometimes remembering these parts is enough to take you out of your "self." Asking who is depressed/anxious/angry can be enough to disarm that part of your mind that just won't let go.
When you run through that list and can't find your suspect you start to wonder, even if it's only briefly, whether the world actually did you wrong. Recurrent loops in your head become exit ramps, and you get to escape via understanding.
When you start to inspect who is actually causing a big scene about something you'll see that it's actually a web of things rather than an unhappy you.
Just that little pause in your thinking can be enough for a new, more healthy mind moment to slip in and take you on the fastest train out of town.
How To Put "Who Is" Into Practice
Whenever you're in a me, me, me, I, I, I thought pattern ask who is ____
When you're stuck in an I want and I need loop, ask who wants ____
When you do this, run through those 5 parts of you in your mind, looking for the suspect that doesn't exist.
When you can't find the suspect, you sometimes can't find the crime.
And once you take your foot off the gas, the wheel will be taken from you. Thankfully.
5) Pause
Pressing pause on life gives all of us time to recalibrate. Whether it's a timeout in sports, a "chill pill," or a marketing campaign for a candy bar, it's common knowledge that taking a break keeps us from going off the rails.
It's tempting to want to tackle a problem head on, but sometimes we need to take a step back and reassess.
Sometimes by pausing we can sidestep a problem, identify a problem, or let it resolve itself.
Stilling yourself can sometimes even create momentum. And you'll be surprised by how little of a pause it takes to get you out of your quicksand.
How To Put Pause Into Practice
For me, there are four ways I pause.
One breath meditation
Spotlight
60 Seconds
Mini Marathons
One breath meditation is just what it sounds like and here's an article that explains it well
"Take a breather" has always been good advice, and that's how I use it. One deep breath, that I watch, and in doing so, hop off my train of thought.
It can bring you back into your body. And with how much time we spend in our thoughts, that's sometimes exactly what we need.
Spotlight is about identifying the cause. What is knocking you off balance? What thought, or emotion is in charge right now, even if you're not unhappy? It's good to be aware of what thought or emotion is on stage so you can direct yourself and your actions in a more intentional way.
Do I want to keep going down this path, or will I allow myself to naturally stray to something more skillful, and healthy?
See the section below for which tools might be the best fit once you shine on a spotlight on the emotion you're actually feeling in the moment.
60 seconds practicing might not seem like much, but often, all we need is a nudge to get ourselves in a better place.
As someone that once asked "why bother" practicing for 30 minutes if I couldn't meditate for a whole hour, I can tell you it's surprising how much practice can be fit into a single minute. And the payoff that minute can bring.
- A 60 second scan can be a conscious break that gets you back into practice. Life can carry you away, but by taking a moment to be observant, you can carry yourself back.
- Scanning for tension can be illuminating. It's often surprised me when I learn how tense I was without even being aware of it. And sometimes detensing is all we need to do to change a thought pattern. When your muscles relax, it's easier to let go of whatever you've got a grip on mentally.
- Scanning for not sureness is a quick way to remind yourself of the impermanence of it all. When I get ready in the morning, I look around the bathroom. The toothpaste, the toilet paper, the wrappers in the trash, and see how they aren't what they once were, and won't be what they are now. It's its own wake up call when you're just waking up.
- Scanning the parts that make up you can help you take things less personally. It can get you out of your head if you're caught up in saying I, I, I and me, me, me.
By going through each, one at a time, you can gently dissect yourself, and let in some room to breathe before the world inevitably tries to make you believe all of those parts is one aggrieved, or happy self.
- A mini marathon isn't a new concept, just a newer name. If you're familiar with the pomodoro technique, it's similar to that.
- A mini attention marathon, especially in our age, is a practice that's difficult. To abandon your phone, a device that seems to have the nature of a yo-yo, is a hard thing to do. But the results are worth it.
Ajahn Brahm said that patient endurance goes against the stream of our defilements. To make it even more simple: patience goes in the opposite direction of those tempting and easy, but damaging habits that cause us suffering and struggle. By exercising patience, you are exercising. And it's hard to describe the strength you feel when you pull yourself away from a device, or other habit, that seems to have you in its own pocket.
- A mini not sure marathon can get you in the habit of recognizing not sureness. And getting into that habit can lead to insight and wisdom that makes mental ruts a little less likely. Our behavior in the now is a lot like investing a little bit of money into this or that stock or savings account. So being more conscious of where we're putting that value in the moment, can lead to more, or less, favorable situations in the future.
6) The Web of Practice - When To use Each
What you’ll find below isn’t necessarily exhaustive, but it’s something I created for myself that I reference at times. The first section is for each part of the Web of Practice, and the second section is best used when you’ve already identified the emotion you’re feeling:
Not Sure
- If it's an outcome/reward/pleasure/punishment/thought/idea/judgement
- If you want/need to focus on the present
- When in doubt about which part of the web to use
Wheel Turn
- If it's a decision you haven't made yet, contemplate the negatives that will come with it, or the positives
- If it's a decision you still have time to reverse
Who Is ___?
- If you're taking something personal/making it part of your identity/saying “me” or “I'm”
- Have a habit you need to overcome
Doesn't Belong To Me
- If it's a feeling/craving that you haven't linked to a specific outcome yet
- If you haven't internalized with "me" or "I'm"
- If it's something outside of your control/unprompted/something you didn't choose
Pause
- When you need to regroup/recalibrate
- When you want/need to strengthen khanti/patient endurance
- When you want to spark some positive momentum
Do:
- One Breath Meditation
- Spotlight
- Mini Attention/Focus Marathon
- Mini Not Sure Marathon
- 60 Second Not Sure Scan
- 60 Second Tension Scan
- 60 Second No Inner Talk
- 60 Second Who Is/Aggregate Scan
After the Spotlight and you know the emotion you're feeling:
Anger
- Who is angry
Resentment
- Who is resentful
Happy and Sad
- Not sure
Desire
- Doesn't belong to me
Idealization
- Not sure
Physical Pain/Fatigue
- Doesn't belong to me
Decisions/Deciding
- Wheel Turn
Anxiety
- Doesn't belong to me
- Who is anxious
Aversion
- Doesn't belong to me
- Who is averse
Boredom
- Doesn't belong to me
- Who is bored
-Mini Attention Marathon
Confusion
- What's the one thing (Maybe I should touch on this at a later date)
- One-Breath Meditation
Urgency
- Single-task
- What's the one thing?
- Who is?
Regret
- Not Sure
- Who Is
- Doesn't Belong
Overwhelm
- One-breath meditation
- 60 second not sure scan
- Who Is
- What's the one thing?
7) Sitting Meditation
While the point of this whole post is to offer a toolkit to stay equanimous without a meditation cushion, I feel it'd be wrong to not touch on the practice of sitting meditation.
My aforementioned therapist once told me that after a while, your practice starts blending together. Eventually you can't see the seams that once separated your sitting practice, from your practice that takes place through the course of your open eyed hours. As I've gotten more experience in implementing the web of practice, I see the truth in that assessment.
There’s often so much weight put on sitting meditation. You're supposed to sit down and come out of the other end of your session as a changed person. While it seems like a more balanced view of it is coming into being, there's still a lot of pressure put on the meditator. Internal definitions and expectations of what a "good" or "bad" session is, and what the "right" or "wrong" way of meditating is. I feel these three steps from Ajahn Brahm's book 'Mindfulness, Bliss, and Beyond' sum up well what sitting meditation is mostly about, and how it can be executed:
- 1) Present-Moment Awareness
"You abandon all past experiences by showing no interest in them at all. During meditation you become someone who has no history."
- 2) Silent Present-Moment Awareness
"Sometimes we assume it is through the inner commentary that we know the world. Actually, that inner speech does not know the world at all. It is the inner speech that spins the delusions that cause suffering. Inner speech causes us to be angry with our enemies and to form dangerous attachments to our loved ones. Inner speech causes all of life's problems. It constructs fear and guilt, anxiety and depression. It builds these illusions as deftly as the skillful actor manipulates the audience to create terror or tears. So if you seek truth, you should value silent awareness and, when meditating, consider it more important than any thought"
- 3) Silent Present-Moment Awareness of The Breath
"If we want to go further, then instead of being silently aware of whatever comes into the mind, we choose silent present-moment awareness of just one thing. That one thing can be the experience of breathing, the idea of loving-kindness (metta), a colored circle visualized in the mind (kasina), or several other less common focal points for awareness."
If you focused only on those three things, I believe you'd see results over time that you were pleased with.
In the above book, Ajahn Brahm mentions a scientific study conducted by Benjamin Libet, which showed that your body starts reacting to something, and moving, before your brain begins to process it. That the "free will" you believe dictates your actions, is a posthumous act. That automaticity it describes is something I'll call the "inner director."
The inner director guides you through your life. Right, or wrong. And what I call the "echo voice" is the commentary track laid on top of that path you're on. Meditation is largely about letting the echo voice fade out. Hitting the mute button on the play by play.
When we strap into that stream of inner dialogue, we're usually strapping into a ride of "wrong."
To be clear, I have no issues with thoughts. Thoughts can provide illumination and inspiration. But thinking can provide delusion and conflict.
Thoughts come and go, if you let them. Thinking is something we force on ourselves, usually for some conscious, or unconscious objective. I find it really is that simple.
The Benefits of A Sitting Practice
One benefit of a sitting meditation practice is just the fact that if you're sitting still for an extended period of time you won't be taking any action, or making bad external decisions. You're winning through non-action. That really is the heart of patient endurance.
When you combine a sitting practice with putting the Web of Practice into action, you begin to see the distinctions fade. You see that they're inseparable. They mutate into one another until your whole existence is practice. Effort. There's never a moment when you can't be meditating. There's never a missing opportunity to find relief.
It's work, but it's like a Marxism of mental health. You own the means of production.
Other Materials For Building A Sitting Practice
What follows are the three most helpful books (and one article) on meditation that I’ve come across:
- Cynthia Thatcher’s ‘Just Seeing’. And the Tricycle article that led me to it. The way she describes a mindfulness practice is so fresh to me. Rest in Peace to her.
- Ajahn Brahm’s ‘Mindfulness, Bliss, and Beyond’. Not only is it great for simple meditation instructions, but the back of the book stuff on Arahantship was particularly interesting for me.
- Bhante Gunaratana’s ‘Mindfulness in Plain English’. The book that started it all for me and meditation.
8) The Point of The Practice
When I turned to the "Dhamma" I didn't even really know what the Dhamma entailed. I just knew that I was an emotional mess that needed relief. But by reading, and most importantly, by practicing, I managed to pull myself out of a prison that was partially of my own making.
I hope that my countless hours spent taking refuge in Dhamma talks, and books, gives you tools that you can quickly apply to your problems. But I also hope that you understand that these are practices. They're things you use to work on yourself, rather than some magic pill you can take that works on you. And a tool is never the home you build with it.
When you put these tools to use, I'd recommend not aiming for a goal of never feeling pain, because we'll never be that lucky (or cursed). A better goal, I believe, is to live as fully as possible, resting in whatever you may be facing, good, or bad. And when you're knocked off balance, I hope that after putting these tools into practice, you'll keep reducing the turnover time it takes to get back to equanimity, like you're servicing an airplane between flights. It took me making my life very complex (and painful) before I figured out it's that simple. Hopefully you'll learn the lesson quicker than I did.