You would think that years of saving self-help tips would have solved all of my problems.
But in the summer of 2019, the structure of my life had some fractures.
And as a result, I smashed the "In Case of Emergency" glass in my life, and once again sought out Buddhism.
Doing so changed me in a permanent way.
The Thai Forest Tradition teacher, Ajahn Chah, helped me look inside with a calculating eye, which resulted in me learning a lot about life. In particular: it taught me that by studying ourselves, our cravings, our reactions, we can learn a lot about others.
And in 2023, when I stumbled upon a book called 'Speaking Being', that wisdom expanded to include not only the Buddha-Dhamma, but a sort of worldly-Dhamma, that allowed me to be with the environment so many of us live in.
While those insights were greatly valued, I realized that they would have been worthless without actually sitting with them. That I needed to experience them for the words to make an a-ha moment.
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It may seem a little contradictory to write a self-help post on a site full of that kind of thing, denouncing "insights," but like some of the other things on this site, it's a necessary contradiction.
Ajahn Chah would often say 'don't believe me, practice and see for yourself what works and what doesn't' and that's largely my attitude here.
If you're happy with clicking link after link that promises you ways to flood your brain with serotonin as you chase a check in some corporate office, go for it.
But if you're tired of being thirsty for that which will never completely quench your thirst, read on.
The Problem With Insights
1) We Need The Right Conditions Present To Take Advantage of An Insight
The truth about insights is that many don't resonate until the right conditions are present.
There's advice we've heard for years that doesn't connect until the right wall is against our back (see: me and Buddhism, and how it took about 18 years for me to return to it).
2) Insights Often Excuse Us From Being Present For Experience
We often seek a new technique, heuristic, or framework to run away from being with an experience.
When we expect those kinds of insights to do all of the heavy lifting for us, we inevitably end up running back to the digital well to type our newest problem into a search bar.
If you're doing this with the content on my website, the truth still stands: it won't do the experiencing for you.
3) There's Always Going To Be More Insights Than There Are Things You're Willing To Experience
People get paid to populate the internet with new stones to attempt murder on multiple birds.
Headlines are juiced with language meant to tap dance on and activate our internal biases.
But experiencing and applying the insights we already have is a rare occurence.
Experiencing is how wisdom sticks to our bones. It's how we learn the things that can't be taught by others. It's how we learn the things that only we can put together based on our mountain of past experience.
So, let's talk about how to experience.
How To Experience (And Get New Wisdom) Instead of Chasing New Insights
1) Realize that most of the time, we have the knowledge we need already.
If you're puruse content such as this, you've likely read a lot already.
Try mastering (or at least putting into action) the things you've already learned.
By doing so, you realize what works, what doesn't, and end up with your own spin on things in the end anyway.
2) Try meditation.
Most of us need to practice stilling our minds and bodies. And the patient endurance involved in building these skills up can keep us from pursuing the unnecessary, if only for 10 minutes.
3) Learn how to digest emotions.
Here's a whole post I wrote about this kind of thing.
Now, let's talk about what insights might actually be worth learning.
How To Know What Insights Are Worth Absorbing (And Some Suggestions)
1) Know The Signs of Valuable Insights
If you're not amused, made uncomfortable, or in need of re-reading/re-listening to something multiple times, that insight will likely not move the needle or change things in a substantial way
It's the things we don't know that we don't know that have the potential to truly change us when they hit us upside our heads.
2) Look For Wisdom That Comes From Contradictions
If you're learning about marketing from someone that doesn't use social media to promote their business, that's one example.
Another is learning mental health techniques that stabalize those most at-risk for suicide (DBT, in this example).
If someone is not supposed to be good at something, and they are, it's a sign that their wisdom might be a little more valuable than the average advice.
3) Choose Fully Formed Systems of Wisdom Instead of Scattered Suggestions
This is why religion 'works' for people. They're often time-tested, fully fleshed out systems of thought and action/practice.
Two systems (and if you truly practice Buddhism, you're not really a Buddhist, so don't be scared off) I'd recommend:
A) 'Food For The Heart', which is my personal Bible for the Buddha-Dhamma.
And if you wanted to break it down into its simplest form, you could say it teaches not-sure and patient endurance. Or you can just check out my 'Web of Practice' post.
B) 'Speaking Being', which is my personal Bible for the Worldly-Dhamma.
This book teaches things that can keep you sane in our often-times insane world designed to drive profit.
The former book teaches you how to be at peace in a way that's outside of society, and the latter teaches you how to be at peace inside the world, where many of us choose to take paychecks instead of alms bowls.
Both teach insights that require you to experience them for yourself, rather than let them graze your eyes before your brief recognition turns into forgetfulness.
Both also have the kind of insights you need to sit with to get something from. Their hearty meals instead of Twitter-thread fast food.
And while they don't do it in bulleted lists, they give you interconnected systems of being, rather than disjointed 'this and thats'.
Wrapping It Up
At the end of the day, sitting with wisdom and learning it deeply the first time you come across it, will benefit you much more than the newest nonfiction book on the shelf.
Our world would like us to spend our time hitting branches on the way down, without studying the leaves on each, so in a way: being with an experience deeply is an act of rebellion against the powers causing the planet to turn against itself.
But it's also a way to build up the muscles of being that are the reason why people meditate in the first place.
I hope that many of you choose to experience a few things deeply instead of experiencing the many like a graze against your cheek.
You might actually prefer it.