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It's easy to have a hyperbolic reaction to the idea of gratitude: looking to the world we're in and wondering what *exactly* there is to be grateful for. There are, of course, melting cities, bills that never grow wings, and politics that devolve into movies not worth a 1996 Blockbuster shelf (or the 5th infinite scroll on a third-rate streaming site).
But that stance is a bit shortsighted.
Beneath the pile of podcasts and books expounding the value of things like "gratitude lists" there's something actually worthwhile in glancing at all you've experienced and possess and saying 'I'm pretty lucky'.
The more gratitude you feel, the less of an asshole you probably are. The more you feel fortunate for, the more likely it is that you understand the impermanence of everything we have in this world.
What follows are some ideas for how to incorporate a gratitude practice in your life, that actually resonates with you on a deeper level than some superficial meme of the moment, absorbed from a social media star in search of an influencer deal.
1) Using The 12 Houses To Generate Gratitude Ideas
On my I Ching-Astrology Horoscopes page I have a list of the 12 astrological houses. And even if you think astrology is bunk, the grouping of human experience into 12 distinct houses is a quick way to run through what there is to be grateful for.
For example: reflecting on your 6th house can make you grateful for not currently being struck by a life-altering illness, and thinking about the 8th house can make you agree that it's nice to not be saddled by debt.
Take a look at that list of people and things, and look at your own life.
2) Thinking About The Possibility of A Disappearing Life
What experiences and people have you been thankful for in the past seven days. Month. Year. Five years. Your life since birth.
Write down the things and people.
Now, think about what life would be like without each of them.
Close your eyes and visualize the sights, sounds, tastes, smells, and anything else you associate with them.
What would your life be like if you didn't have a partner. What experiences would disappear from your life. What shows would you have not seen in person, what memories would become Eternal Sunshined.
What would a night's rest be without your bed. Your quality of life without the pet you take care of, show love to, and consider part of your family.
What would last week have been like without them, or it. The past six months, the past twelve months.
See your life unfold without those people and things in your mind's eye, and see if it's a life that's a even a little less worthwhile.
It likely is.
3) The Best Friend Exercise
Think of your best friend. Look at their life and think about what they should be grateful for, if you were judging it from the outside looking in.
Now, look at your own life, as if it's someone outside of yourself. What would you tell that person to be grateful for.
What would you pay for what you already have if you didn't have it. What would you give up or sacrifice for it.
Seeing yourself and others with distance and with closeness, can help wake you up a bit if you're getting a little comfortable with what life has provided you.
4) Scanning Your Environment
There's really nothing too small to be grateful for.
I just used some scissors to cut open a bag of frozen spinach. Had I not had that tool, I may have tore it with my hands causing vegetables to fly all over the fucking place.
What is around you at this very moment that makes your life better. Literally imagine that thing going 'poof' and disappearing. What would life be like after that law of reality-defying event.
5) Going Big or Small
You can zoom in, or zoom out to feel gratitude.
Zooming in can be feeling gratitude for being able to digest food. For your lungs working properly.
Zooming out can include being grateful that the Sun doesn't want to grind against the Earth.
If going about it this way makes you even a little less of a person that takes things for granted, it'll have been a win.
6) The Historical And Social Comparison
Those that claim capitalism is the new Jesus like to remind us that kings and emperors of old didn't have the luxury of carrying slave-resourced smartphones in their backpocket, and died of diseases that would make 'Oregon Trail' outcomes look benign.
If that makes you feel gratitude, go for it.
But a truth of humans is that we primarily compare ourselves with the figures that surround us in our present moment.
We can risk scanning Instagram and seeing spokespeople get delivered branded vending machines, and luxury purses, but those might not be the best people to compare ourselves to to feel gratitude.
Comparison runs the risk of making us feel actually superior to others, but if you can reel in that egoic tendency, it could be helpful to see someone screaming at a barista and reflect on our gratitude for not being overrun by overwhelming emotions like that. While also feeling a little empathy for all involved with that or any other misfortune.
By scaling down our comparisons, and being selective about them, we can see that in some respects we're better off than others (while, of course, not seeing the full range of the 'others' human experience).
It's at least going to be more productive than comparing ourselves to whoever the 'algorithm' wants to show us to get a reaction from us.
7) Choosing With A Purposeful False Binary
I wrote about "choosing" before but to sum it up: it's an activity that I've found valuable in being OK with whatever I'm dealing with in the moment.
Here's how it works:
You encounter a challenge, such as a difficult customer, and you think to yourself 'would I rathe choose this or that time I was literally subsisting on peanut butter to not perish from starvation'.
Of course, in reality, these are two separate things with no true connection. But by putting them side by side, it can make us grateful for the present problem, instead of having to deal with the much more emotionally-tinged and traumatic 'other' option.
I've found it to be a quick way to snap back in the present moment while being alright with whatever is happening.
Final Thoughts
However you choose to engage with gratitude, the practice is admirable (Here's a link to even more prompts to help you feel grateful).
It does the rare trick of making us not feel like we're entitled to everything we've gotten, and all there is to get.
It makes us see others as valuable gifts in our lives instead of scenery we can overlay our main character existence on top of.
So, good luck in feeling grateful, because the world has a little too much of the alternative as it currently stands.