There was a time in my life when anxiety was pretty ugly.
I was in ketosis, carelessly adminstering blue light to myself until it triggered mania, failing to get enough sleep, and then falling victim to the extreme anxiety that came with it.
I popped Valerian Root after Valerian Root, but I was a mess that couldn't help himself.
I'd like to say it all worked out well in the moment, but it didn't.
The good news is, I can look back over 10 years later and see how many things I did wrong, and how many things I now do right.
Those "do right" things are included below, and I hope they help you get out of your own head, and calm your body in the process.
Throw some of them against the wall of your mind and see what sticks.
The Two Types of Fears/Anxieties
With all of my study of Buddhism, and over 35 years of experience living on this planet, I kind of only see there being two types of anxieties, or fears:
- 1) Being Afraid of Looking Bad
Being embarrassed, ashamed, having your "ego" hurt, your social position - it all falls into this category for me.
In an interdependent, social world (as much as it sometimes looks anti-social), this is just a natural human anxiety that bubbles up to the surface (often on a daily basis in some form).
- 2) Being Afraid of Dying, Impermanence, or Endings
This type of anxiety is also a natural human one.
We don't want our life to end because all that we've accumulated will slip through our rigamortis'd fingers.
We don't want things to be impermanent because then we have to accept the mortality of even a song.
We don't want endings because love will pass, security will stray, or dreams and hopes might get stifled.
That's just what it's like to be a human, and it's helpful to recognize and accept both of these patterns of thought.
Sometimes just identifying an anxiety as one of these two things can be enough to put you at ease. Because now you know what you're dealing with.
But let's talk about how I personally handle the anxiety once it's been identified.
My Anti-Anxiety Toolkit
1) Meditation
I'm almost a decade into a formal, consistent meditation practice, and while it's not a cure-all, it builds up some necessary muscles.
Sure, you can sit there, stare at the wall or inside of yourself, and eventually feel bliss. But that 'bliss' is impermanent.
The more long-lasting result of meditation for me has been the ability to just sit still. To endure the moment. To steady the mind, fail, and then steady again, on repeat, until my phone alarm goes off.
The easiest way to meditate is to sit in a comfortable position, focus on your breath, wherever it goes in your body, and then when your mind inevitably strays, just bring it back.
But if you'd like a more in-depth form of instruction, I'd recommend the book 'Mindfulness in Plain English' or 'Mindfulness, Bliss, And Beyond'.
2) The EDPB Toolkit
This little acronym is simply something that I built from trying a bunch of things for my anxiety, and seeing what worked.
- E = telling yourself that you're feeling excitement, rather than anxiety.
- It may seem a little too good to be true, but humans are malleable and pretty open to suggestion
- D = Double-breathe, or as it's more popularly known: the double-inhale
- You inhale through your nose as much as you think you can, and then try for one more inhale through your nose during that same breath, before breathing out deeply through your mouth
- If those instructions don't work for you, check this link
- P = Predict what bad thing you think might happen to you, so you can build up a habit of looking back and seeing that you're usually way off
- I wrote about this previously with divination
- B = Breathe into the area you feel anxiety/tension
- Wherever you identify your anxiety, wherever you feel the tension, try breathing in through your nose and out of your mouth *in* that area
- I know it sounds impossible, or contradictory, but I personally believe it helps by getting you oxygen *and* by forcing you to release the tension you're creating
3) The DDRB Process
Often, our anxiety comes from telling ourselves stories that are sometimes untrue, and often, unhelpful.
I write about this at greater length here but the process is a series of questions:
- D = Does this story harm me?
- D = Does this story harm another?
- R = What is the reward I'm getting from telling myself this story?
- B = What way of 'being' would make this story irrelevant?
4) The STHST Process
This one I got from DBT, but the acronym was something I thought made it easier to remember.
The benefit of going through the process? It brings you back to the present rather than stewing in your anxiety. It goes like this:
- S = What are five things you can see at the moment
- T = What are four things you can touch at the moment
- H = What are three things you can hear at the moment
- S = What are two things you can smell at the moment
- T = What is one thing you can taste at the moment
5) Off-loading Your Anxiety With Sigils
Figuring out what you want, turning it into a sigil, and then charging it is an easy way to get a worry out of your head, and put its opposite into the world so your unconscious can move you closer to it.
It’s like learning a word and then suddenly seeing that word in different places.
And after years of using sigils, I can tell you that writing a solution for a problem in the form of an intention, and turning it into an abstract symbol, can be an easy way to satisfy part of your brain into thinking a solution is coming down the pipeline.
And (again), it’s funny how those solutions sometimes eventually present themselves.
6) Avoiding ‘The Helpless Distance’
‘The Helpless Distance’ is that area of inactive anxiety.
It’s when you’re either A) stuck in your head, overthinking without acting, or B) physically away from the person or place generating your current anxiety.
That distance between you and action is where illusions (and delusions) get spun.
It allows you to build up your worries into all-powerful antagonistic Gods.
But like the “P” in EDPB, your predictions about your coming destruction are often way off.
And when you’re not on the court, deprived of the ability to even aim at the basket, there’s a limit to how useful your thoughts about the game and your opponent are.
A little ‘what would need to be true for ____ to fail’ is helpful to strategize some ways to stop catastrophes, but don’t let The Helpless Distance deceive you into thinking your excessive speculation is serving any positive purpose.
7) The WWNTBT For The Worst Possible Outcome Question
We can often build blurry anxieties up in our minds.
A generalized cloud of worries with no clear contours, or specific worst case scenarios.
To guard against anxious confusion, I’ve found it helpful to ask What Would Need To Be True For The Worst Possible Outcome To Happen?
The answers may be going broke, losing a job, losing a relationship, dying, etc. etc.
And the next question (once you have that list) is what options would those outcomes leave me with?
Chances are that there’s always a response that’s available to you when the worst of the worst happens.
Even death (depending on your belief in the Bardo, or becoming a see-through sight-seer that can strut through walls).
8) The Hourly I Ching Reading Practice
I’ve written about this at greater length here, but asking yourself “what do I need to know about the ____ hour of my day?” can give you chances to come face to face with your anxious expectations, and then face the reality of how they actually played out in your life.
Hexagram 29 Unchanging and Hexagram 6 Unchanging may be my personal least favorite readings, but it’s helpful to get them, and get a reminder that you can handle that outcome like you’ve handled all of the other conflicting and stressful events you’ve been through in life.
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So those are some more 'mental' approaches to the problem of anxiety, but there's physical things that might help, too.
Physical Safeguards Against Anxiety
While the aforementioned "double-breathe" is my biggest go-to tool in the moment, there's a couple of other things I'd recommend from personal experience.
1) Exercise
I won't say anything more about it, just because it really is a no-brainer.
2) A Low(er) Carb Diet
When I go from high carb eating to 50-75 grams, there's a noticeable difference in my mental state.
Of course, speak with a doctor (or to yourself) as the saying goes, but I can definitely attest to the improvements it brings when I eat that way.
3) Self-Made Tension
Anxiety often presents itself as a notification (often erroneously) that you can, or should take action.
When it comes upon you, you may feel compelled to feel fight or flight-y, and since you didn't consciously create it, you feel that you're not in control of the situation.
You're taken out of experience, and into the mind, where the present is obscured by futures that haven't, and often *won't* happen.
But there's a couple of ways to beat extreme states by getting there first through your own will:
A) Pre-Emptive Tension
This is basically: tense every muscle in your body up at random, or scheduled moments in the course of your day.
Hold it for 30 seconds or a minute (or longer, if you'd like), and get yourself used to feeling that physical state and living your life normally despite it.
Then, when that kind of tension arises in regular life you can say 'I've been here before, I'm fine'.
It may not work for everyone, but it's definitely been helpful in my own life.
B) Cyclic Hyperventilation
Whether you call it cyclic hyperventilation or Wim Hof Breathing, it can get your adrenaline running, allowing you to feel on demand how your body feels in a potential fight-or-flight moment.
Check this link for instructions if you're unsure of how to do it.
4) Limit Blue Light Exposure
If you're prone to anxiety and you're using a blue light to work against your depression, consider dropping the habit and seeing what happens.
If you're in the Summer months, you likely need less sunlight help than you think, and it could benefit your anxiety as it's done mine, to drop it off.
5) Quick Fix: Ice In The Hand
If you quickly need to snap out of an anxious pattern of thinking, you could try the DBT trick of grabbing and holding a piece of ice.
That sudden discomfort might be enough to snap you out of the bad places your mind may be going.
6) If You're At Altitude ...
Living in Denver, CO for a close to a decade has gotten me used to living at altitude, but I can't say it's been perfect for my mental health.
While there is much more sunlight than there was in Binghamton, NY, I always notice a jump in mood when I get back to sea level.
It turns out that some believe that less oxygen can result in a lower mood. And sometimes, because of that, more anxiety.
One thing I tried to counteract this effect is taking Creatine Monohydrate. So far, so good, though your results may vary.
But I'd regret it if I didn't mention it for those of you sitting thousands of feet above the sea like myself.
7) Work on Dietary, Mineral, and Vitamin Deficiencies, Excesses, and Intolerances
There might be bloodwork you can do for this, but I can’t speak to that.
What I can tell you is to look at how certain foods affect you, and be your own detective, without becoming obsessive.
One thing to try is to use a diet tracker, input all of the information from your daily foods and supplements and check where there’s too much or too little of this or that vitamin.
For me, I learned I was getting about 2000 percent of the daily recommended amount of B Vitamins, and when reduced, anxiety lessened.
We’re all different, so results may vary, but finding your own balance could likely be a good thing.
8) One Supplement In Particular: Inositol
While I will cover my ass and refer you to your doctor before saying you, individual reader, should take Inositol, I will say: 2400mg, once a day was enough to raise my baseline calm to a remarkably high level.
Recommending individual supplements to people that aren’t asking for them is a lot like telling someone about a dream you had, so I’ll leave you with my emphatic recommendation, and nothing more.
Some Additional Resources
1) DBT
Those that struggle with Borderline Personality Disorder are often at high-risk for suicide.
But DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) seems to be the best way to get them on somewhat stable ground.
Therefore, if you need further help in calming down your anxiety, who better to learn from than those that created something for the worst case scenarios.
Because of that, I'd recommend a book like this.
2) Therapy
I've had at least a decade worth of therapy over the course of my life, and even if your life is mostly stable, it can be helpful to have an open ear.
While it can be difficult to find a therapist you feel comfortable with, if you're in a low place, I'd recommend it.
And with sites like a BetterHelp, there's some flexibility in how your therapy conducted that might be more convenient in a world full of inflexible work schedules.
Wrapping It Up
I'd like to emphasize again that anxiety is a natural emotion.
You're going to experience it.
What I hope is that by actually *practicing* some of the tools and techniques I've provided above, you'll eliminate at least 25 percent of the suffering you usually experience from anxiety.
Even its cessation is impermanent, but when you realize that there are things you can do to put the power back in your hands, it leaves you feeling a bit freer. A bit stronger.
Wherever you are in life, I wish you the best in taking back control of your life from your emotions.