Knowing how to create a habit is one of the biggest keys to brainwashing yourself into having a better life.
And knowing how it works is a way to wrestle back control of your life from algorithms and digital dopamine feeding systems disguised as indispensable social media surround your field of vision.
You get to program yourself, on your terms, gaining new skills, and behaviors, that are compatible with a future that *you* decided on.
Despite what you may have heard, you don't need a set number of days, or weeks, or months, to make something a habit. What follows is what I've learned (and used) from the work of BJ Fogg, and in particular, his phenomenal book, 'Tiny Habits'.
I hope that it's as helpful for you, as it has been for me.
The Tiny Habits Process
To Create A Habit
- Get clear on aspiration, possibility, or desired outcome (is this a thing you need/want done once, or repeatedly):
- Ex: Get better sleep / 8 hours of sleep a night
- Explore your options by creating a big swarm of behaviors/contexts (if you could wave a magic wand to get yourself to do anything that would (help you sleep 8 hours a night) that would get you that outcome
- Ex: Moving into a new apartment on a higher floor that's further from the sound of street traffic, changing my diet, etc.
- Think of them as wishes and allow yourself to be "unrealistic"
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- Prompts can include:
- What would need to be true (wwntbt) to achieve this outcome/possibility?
- What behaviors would you do one time?
- What new habits would you create?
- What habit would you stop?
- Choose a new habit from the swarm
- Make sure the new habit has the three traits of a golden behavior (For each give it a 1 for least to 3 for most like a golden behavior):
- 1) Is something you want to do (1-3)
- 2) Is something you can do (1-3)
- 3) Is something that is effective in leading to your aspiration (1-3)
- Start tiny by either
- 1) Focusing on the starter step
- Ex: Putting on your shoes if you want to walk three miles every day
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- 2) Scaling the habit back
- Ex: Flossing just one tooth instead of all of them
- Find a good prompt for your new habit
- Find a solid routine in your life (an anchor) that can remind you to do the new habit
- Write your new habit recipe as:
- After I ____ I will ____
- Also decide how you will celebrate the habit
- Examples of celebrations:
- Fist pump
- Hands in the air
- Saying "woo"
- An enthusiastic clap
- Saying Yes! or Yay!
- Slow nod
- Point your finger forcefully at what you finished
- Forcefully smile
- Hum a song
- Dance
- Make the voice in your head tell you good job
- Rehearse your new habit seven to ten times, with a celebration at the end each time (remember that positive emotions and experiences reinforce habits)
- Rewards need to happen during the habit, or milliseconds after, otherwise your reward is actually just an incentive
- If it doesn't succeed:
- Ask "what is making this habit hard to do" and "how can I make it easy to do"
- "I forgot" then rehearse it 7 to 10 times with a celebration at the end
- "It's too difficult" then make the habit even tinier
- "I keep forgetting" then find a different prompt/anchor for it
- "I don't want the new habit" then look for a new habit with those three qualities of a golden behavior
To Stop A Habit
- Identify what you want to stop
- Create your swarm of behaviors (what are all the specific habits that contribute to the general one - gaining weight, etc.)
- Come up with a set of specific behaviors that comprise the bad habit
- From the swarm of behaviors select the specific habit you want to stop (pick the easiest)
- Focus on the prompt with one of the three strategies
- Remove the prompt
- Avoid the prompt
- Ignore the prompt
- Ex: After brushing my teeth, I'll turn notifications off on my phone
- If this doesn't work:
- Make the habit harder to do by:
- Making it cost more time
- Making it cost more money
- Making it cost more physical effort
- Making it cost more mental effort (Ex: counting calories)
- Making it conflict with a routine or habit that's important to you already (Ex: Enjoying exercising early in the morning will conflict with staying up later at night)
- If this doesn't work:
- Reduce motivation for habit by:
- Weakening motivation for habit (Ex: Eating enough healthy foods before you go to a party with junk food)
- Add demotivators (Ex: Pledge to give $1000 to a political party you disagree with you if do the habit)
- If this doesn't work:
- Ask if you may want to change the habit
- If you want to keep working on it, go to phase 3
- If you don't, go back to your swarm of behaviors
Swapping Out Habits For New Ones
- Create a swarm of alternate behaviors that you could do instead of this one
- Get specific and pick one that is
- Most appealing to you
- Very easy to do
- Focus on the prompt
- Remap the prompt from the old habit to the new habit (Whenever you feel irritated which leads to yelling, you make sure you give a compliment)
- Rehearse the new prompt habit sequence with a celebration 7-10 times
- Adjust ability
- Make the new habit really easy to do
- Make the old habit really hard to do
- As you do the new habit, celebrate each time you do it
- If that doesn't work, adjust the motivation
- Make the new habit more motivating
- Make the old habit less motivating
- As you do the new habit celebrate
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If you put any of this information to use in creating (or removing) habits for yourself, I hope you’ll agree that it’s easier than it seems, especially when you get some momentum.
I believe the hard part is really knowing what direction you want to go in, and hopefully the exercises you’ve gone through here help you at least know that.
But let's talk a little more about habits.
Additional Thoughts on Habits
1) Changing How The World Occurs For You Can Instantly Change Behavior
There was a long period of time where I ate no sugar.
I was strict. If a nutrition label listed added sugar, or cane sugar, or even coconut sugar as an ingredient, I put it back.
But then that suddenly changed. I began eating added sugar again.
And then I started eating candy.
The rush of sugar got me addicted again.
But then I stumbled into a book called 'Allen Carr's Easy Way To Quit Emotional Eating'.
I saw rave reviews for the book, as well as his books on quitting smoking and drinking.
So, I read it.
And it brainwashed me for the better.
It changed how I saw the world, and without much effort, it changed my behavior.
I got all of the sugar-y foods out of my home, and I was back on the wagon.
It was a reminder of a lesson I learned from the work of Werner Erhard, that 'if you change how the world occurs, your behaviors naturally align with the way that world occurs'.
I naturally bought into the persuasion of that Allen Carr book, and saw things differently. And I didn't need much willpower at all to quit sugar again.
The point I'm making is: the Tiny Habit process is extremely effective at changing behavior, but sometimes you get lucky, and awareness changes your behavior.
And if you're looking to make habits to stop drinking, smoking, or binge eating, I'd recommend picking up one of those Allen Carr books, because in my experience, they're professionals at positive brainwashing.
2) Using Sigils To Improve Your Chance of Making Habits That Stick
You can follow the instructions in my guide to Sigil Magic, but I'd like to offer some sigil ideas that might help in building better habits:
- 1) I completely and permanently know how to make positive habits that stick
- CMPLTNDRKWHBS
- I am completely and permanently free from the habit of ____
- I always find making habits incredibly easy
- LWSFNDMKGHBTCR
- Also, there's a book called 'Sigils of Power', which I recommend. There's two potentially relevant sigils that I've had some success with around this topic: "Break a Habit," and "Find Relief From Addiction."
- Give those two a shot, and the book isn't much money to justify giving it a chance.
If you're open to magic, it can sometimes be the piece of straw you need to break a bad habit's back, or make a new one.
3) A Reminder If You're Skeptical of Your Ability To Make Habits
Think about your social media platform of choice (or former choice).
Think about how easy it was to build the habit of constantly checking your timeline, or scrolling endlessly.
The reason it was so easy was because you were getting instant dopamine rewards.
So, making a habit isn't always that hard.
The practical lesson from this thought exercise, though, is: don't neglect the celebration part of building a habit.
You want to activate those areas of your brain that get instantaneous internal celebrations from seeing new information pass by your gaze. So, figure out a good way to celebrate (that you don't feel *too* self-conscious about), and repeatedly do it at the beginning to ingrain that habit.
Thinking that you feel silly for a moment is a small price to pay for a habit that's going to improve your life.
Final Thoughts
I hope you find the instructions in this piece clear, and that when you begin to make new, better habits for yourself, you don't find it to be too hard.
A little extra up-front work will pay off in major ways if you are disciplined about the process.
And I believe you'll find it much more rewarding to program yourself, than to let tech companies, and TV commercials, do it for you.