You may know the feeling: a work day that feels like a real-life version of some Super Mario near-death obstacle course.
Criticism that cuts deeper than the length of the blade looks to the outside world, the clock goes forward and backward depending on what would make your life more difficult, and then you're hit with the prospect of having to do it all over again tomorrow.
Anxieties connect our neurons to ancestors that needed to run from animals that would later appear in Steven Spielberg movies, and we get the same mental result.
But I think part of our problem is that our in-the-moment memories shortchange us for all that we've overcome.
It's easy to think you can't withstand something when you can't remember everything you've already withstood. And if you've been on the planet long enough to hit adulthood, you likely have a large number of those events.
It's what I call your "Win List." I believe the widely admired Navy SEAL, David Goggins, calls something similar his "Cookie Jar."
It's a list of 'oh yeah, I *did* do that', or 'I didn't die when I faced something similar in the past'. And it's simple to create.
How To Make The Win List
1) Think of All of Your Worst Moments In Life
If you're at risk of activating negative memories that you don't have much control over, maybe skip this exercise (and possibly the entire process if you're still working on handling these moments).
If you're OK with thinking back through this frame, write down all of those worst moments.
Just the act of acknowledging them might give you some reassurance that whatever is top of the mind for you in a bad way, is also something that can potentially be overcome.
2) Think of All of Your Worst Fears That Ended Up Being Unfounded
With this, try to remember times you built up fears about the future and ended up being proven wrong.
These are the times your mind got ahead of you to a disastrous place that never ended up existing.
Try to write all of these down, too.
3) Try To Think of Your Recent Worst Moments And Fears
These are things from the past week, month, and year, that may be fresher in your memory, that you either built up for ultimately no reason, or things that were genuinely uncomfortable or terrible, that you ended up surviving.
Write all of these things down, too.
4) Take A Look At What You've Already Gathered And Use It To Shape Your Perspective of Your Current Problems
Doing this makes it actually enjoyable to be wrong.
To see all of the times in the past you've made it through struggle, or all of the times in the past your worst fears weren't realized, helps you sober up.
You may start to realize that even if tomorrow is your worst nightmare, it can either be overcome, or you can change the way you view it and think about it.
Maybe what you've compiled up to this point is enough to get your mind right, but ...
5) Make A Habit of Keeping This List Current
I feel like it would be in your best interest to keep adding to this list.
As time moves on you may start to believe these new problems are unique. That, sure, those issues in the past were scary but surmountable, but 'this time, it's different' or 'this time, it's actually serious'.
By keeping an up-to-date list, you may be able to see that similar themes pop-up repeatedly. And they often get handled, in one way or another.
Final Thoughts
The 'Win List' isn't everything, but I've found it does help when your eyes suddenly start having trouble looking into your personal rearview mirror.
To have a piece of paper that can tell you everything you've already overcome, all that currently seems troublesome, suddenly feels a lot more manageable.
To make it an enduring source of strength, though, we have to keep it current. Adversity amnesia is always going to be lurking around the new 'scary' corners we all have to turn around.